Man, judging from the recent comments, it looks like you people need something to keep you occupied. Sorry I’ve been lacking on that end, but your wait is over. It’s time for another installation of the famous SALIME Survey.

As always, the rules are simple: answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer.

1) What’s the current weather where you are?

2) Where are you?

3) What’s the last thing you ate?

4) The last thing you drank?

5) What’s the background image on your computer? If you email me the image (landslide at dunedan dot com), I’ll display it in your comment.

6) What are you wearing right now?

7) Who was the last person you spoke with on the phone?

8) Who was the last person you spoke with in person?

9) What is the last book you read?

10) What’s the last song you heard (or the one you are hearing right now)?

Well, now that I’ve sufficiently depressed everyone, it’s time to lighten up and have some fun.

That’s right, bitches! The (somewhat) monthly SALIME Survey hath returned! In honor of the relaunch, everything comes in twos (as in 2.0) this time.

The old rules still apply: answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer. It’s all in good fun. Leave your answers in the comments, or post them on your own site and tell us how to find it. Heeeeeere we go!

1) Name the last two songs you’ve heard (in any format).

2) Name the last two books you’ve read (or other printed, non-web material if you don’t read books).

3) Name two websites you think everyone should visit/read.

4) Name the last two movies you’ve seen in the theater.

5) Name the last two movies you’ve watched at home.

6) Name two things that always go together.

7) Name two things that never go together.

8) Name two people who should disappear from the face of the Earth.

9) Name two things you’d really like to do before the end of the year.

10) Name two things you’ve done in the past that you never, ever want to do again.

It’s time for another survey! This round is all about that day when we Americans like to stuff our faces with enough food to feed a small army.

If you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, but you can find a way to answer some of these questions in a relevant way, then go for it.

As always, you may answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer.

1) Will you be traveling for Thanksgiving this year?

2) Are you contributing any food to this year’s dinner, or perhaps even hosting it yourself?

3) Besides the normal turkey and stuffing, what’s the one Thanksgiving dish you must have?

4) Do you prefer a big gathering or quiet little meal?

5) Does your family have any Thanksgiving traditions?

6) What’s your favorite pie?

7) How important is football to your Thanksgiving experience?

8) Name three things for which you are thankful this year.

9) Black Friday: Stay home and eat leftovers or hit the mall running?

10) Complete this sentence: Thanksgiving is all about…

Since Halloween is looming, I thought I’d make this month’s survey a little morose. Answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer.

1) Name three things that scare you.

2) How about three things that really gross you out?

3) What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were growing up?

4) Ever toilet paper something or otherwise cause general mischief?

5) Freddy or Jason?

6) When was your first close hand experience with death?

7) What’s the worst possible death you can imagine for yourself?

8) Are you an organ donor? If not, why?

9) Cremation or burial?

10) Do you believe in things that go bump in the night?

Well, with the summer winding to a close, I thought I’d ask some questions about travel, since people tend to do a bit of it in the warmer months.

The usual rules apply: answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer.

1) What’s the last vacation you took (where did you go, what did you do)?

2) Name three places where you would like to travel some day.

3) How many US states have you been to? Driving through counts, flying over does not. Here’s a map to help you count.

4) Does your job ever require you to travel?

5) Beach or mountains?

6) How many foreign countries have you been to? Feel free to list them (or just your favorites).

7) Do you have a current passport? Did you know that only 20% of Americans have one?

8) Any trips planned for the near future? If so, care to tell us where?

9) Culture or leisure (i.e. museums, historical sites, landmarks or laying on the beach, gambling, shopping)?

10) Is the journey really more important that the destination?

More survey fun, this time about your childhood. Answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer.

1) What is your earliest memory?

2) Did you have a childhood pet?

3) At what age did you learn to ride a bike? Who taught you?

4) Without giving away the actual location (unless you want to), describe the area where you grew up. (Urban, suburban, or rural? Friendly neighbors ? Lots of kids in your neighborhood? Did you have a back yard?)

5) Video games or playing outside?

6) When did you learn how to swim?

7) What was your first word?

8) Who was your first celebrity crush?

9) Bert or Ernie?*

10) Where does the time go?

*Bonus Trivia: What other famous character pairing shares the names of Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie? And don’t look it up—that’s no fun.

This seems to be fun, so I’ll probably do it every few weeks or so (or when the inspiration hits me). I have a theme this time: food. Answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer. I’ll answer my own questions when it seems like everyone else is done.

1) What did you have for dinner last night?

2) How often do you go out to eat? What’s the last place where you dined out?

3) Do you ever eat fast food? From where?

4) How often do you cook at home?

5) Soda or pop?

6) Name some of your favorite ice cream flavors.

7) How often do you eat ethnic food? What kinds?*

8) Is there a special food item or dish that you make—something for which you’re known?

9) Coffee or espresso (or tea)?

10) And the ever burning question: food or sex?

*For our purposes, “ethnic food” will refer to food that clearly has its origins in a country that you are not from, and in many cases, is prepared and served by someone from that country. It can’t be an Americanized version like pizza or hamburgers. I think you catch my drift.

Well, as this week draws to a close, I’m just a little bit closer to cracking up and going to live in a padded room. So as I sit here, sipping some sherry, catching up on some TV, I was thinking… the last little survey I did was fun, so I thought I’d try this again. In honor of my wonderful week of wankers, some of the questions are about work. Answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer.

1) On a scale of 1-10, rate your job on its suckitude. Let 1=7th level of hell and 10=72 virgins in paradise. If you don’t have a job, I guess you can rate how much that does or does not suck.

2) Are you listening to music or watching television at this exact moment? If so, what’s on?

3) What’s your favorite film from the original Star Wars trilogy?

4) Boxers or briefs?

5) How long is your commute and how much money do you piss away each week on gasoline?

6) What’s the image on your computer desktop (background)?

7) When you walk into a bar, what drink do you most commonly order (can be non-alcoholic if that applies).

8) How’s the weather in your current location (specify Celsius, Fahrenheit, or Kelvin).

9) Vanilla or Chocolate?

10) Do you have any super powers?

Well, I don’t have a cat to Friday cat blog, so I thought I’d make up a silly little survey instead.

1) What album(s) have been on your rotation in the past week?

2) What’s the last concert you’ve been to? (I don’t care if it was in an arena, a coffee house, or a concert hall.)

3) What image is on your mouse pad?

4) Do you have any pets?

5) Kirk or Picard?

6) What did you want to be when you grew up?

7) What’s the last movie you saw in a theater? Did you like it?

8) How many pairs of shoes do you own? How many do you think I have?

9) Coke or Pepsi?

10) Do you ever hear strange voices? If so, what do they say?

Well, that’s enough silliness for today. I just thought it would be fun to ask some random questions. Answer truthfully or lie your ass off, whichever you prefer. Hey lurkers, why not throw in your two cents? I know you’re out there; I can see the statistics. You can always post anonymously. I’ll answer my own questions on Sunday. Right now I’ve gotta leave work before happy hour is over. Have a good weekend!

UPDATE: Thanks guys. Thought I’d wait a little longer before answering in case anyone else wants to comment.

UPDATE #2: At least one person was having troubles with posting here yesterday (Monday), so if anyone else had that issue, I’m sorry! It should be working now.

UPDATE #3: I finally answered my own questions. Sorry for the delay. I wanted to wait a little longer, and then I ended up having a hellish few days of work.