Filed under: — Kate @ 9:24 am EST

Many of you may recall my adventures with the UMIL last year. Well, now it’s time for the UFIL. That’s right, my un-father-in-law is coming to visit for two weeks.

Now he’s rather harmless when compared to the UMIL, but he does present his own set of challenges.

For starters, he’s a bit older, so it’s harder to find ways of occupying him. He doesn’t do tons of walking, and as far as he’s concerned, he’s seen everything there is to see.

He goes to bed early (like 8 or 9 PM), which isn’t a big deal until you consider that we only have one bedroom. Try working that one out. Last time he was here, I was a prisoner in my bedroom for most of the evenings. The good thing is that he’ll probably only be sleeping at our place for 4 or 5 nights, because he’ll be staying at a place down the street or travelling the rest of the time.

Perhaps the biggest stumbling block, though, is the language barrier. His English has gotten worse, and my Italian has stayed, well, non-existent. All I can say is “I love you,” “I’m sorry,” and an assortment of dirty words and blasphemes. (And yes, I know that’s pathetic given that I’ve lived with a native Italian speaker for the last 5 years, but that’s not really the point right now, is it?)

He arrives late this afternoon, so I’m home from work today getting ready for him. Wish me luck!

15 Responses to “UFIL”

  1. Lushy Says:

    Well, maybe you could bond over the world cup or something? A love of red wine? Hook him up with a cheesesteak?!

    And in my experience, hand gestures and charades work fine when there is a language barrier. I work with people who speak about 8 different languages at a given time.

  2. Holz Says:

    Just take him to the Olive Garden, I’m sure Italians love that place.

  3. Ashley Says:

    A word to the wise, compliments of Janeane Garofalo: “NEVER take someone from the ‘Old Country’ to The Olive Garden.”

  4. Lushy Says:

    I would suppose that taking him to Olive Garden would have the same effect as going to the Improv…sheer laughter.

  5. Kate Says:

    Well, seeing as how I would never set foot in an Olive Garden anyway, there’s nothing to worry about there.

  6. Amber Says:

    What? You mean you don’t love the unlimited salad and breadsticks concept? Or is it something about the aura of forced “Italian cheer” and blatant desperation that turns you off?

  7. Kate Says:

    Aside from the food being unimpressive, the commercials (God, I HATE those commercials), and the fact that I live with a real live Italian who wouldn’t be caught dead in an Olive Garden? Well, I really try not to patronize chain restaurants. I mean, I live in Philadelphia, a city with so many incredible and unique places to eat. It feels sinful to eat at a place that’s the same in every other city.

    Now I do go to some of the regional chains, like Marathon and Mad 4 Mex, and once or twice a year we break down and go to Chile’s (because it’s across the street). But other than that, I can honestly say that we avoid places like Appleby’s, Oilve Garden, Bucca, Hard Rock, etc…

  8. Lushy Says:

    Hard Rock cafe’s suck, but there are AWESOME original restaurants at the Hard Rock Hotel out here.

    As for Italian chains, the only one I really seem to enjoy is Maggiano’s.

  9. Ashley Says:

    Don’t you mean “Crapplebee’s”?

  10. Holz Says:

    First of all, I thin Olive Garden gets a bum wrap. The breadsticks are great, the toscana soup is a favorite, and they have the best Bellini Iced Tea I’ve ever had.

    Applebee’s is another favorite of mine… they just got a new menu, with some kick ass drinks, including the Orange Dream, which is like a ornage creamsicle with alcohol… yummy.

    While I like small restaurants, sometimes the wallet just can’t take it, and chains provide good food that’s affordable, and usually it’s the only thing a group can agree on.

    /stops shouting up at the people who are sitting on the insanely large horse

  11. daveT Says:

    when the USIL comes in can i meet her? lol

  12. Kate Says:

    While I like small restaurants, sometimes the wallet just can’t take it, and chains provide good food that’s affordable…

    I’ve been to tons of local places that are just as affordable, if not cheaper than the big chains. I didn’t mean to imply that I have a gourmet meal every time I eat out—far from it.

    and usually it’s the only thing a group can agree on.

    I can’t remember the last time I went to a national chain restaurant because of a group decision—not that I haven’t done it, of course. When it did happen, I think it was usually because I was in the suburbs, where fewer options are available.

    I’m not sitting on a high horse here; I’m just explaining myself. I understand that some people have limited options, but I’m not one of them. Given where I live, I would be remiss to eat at a place like the Olive Garden. It would be like going to Starbucks when there’s a fantastic little independent coffee shop across the street.

  13. Kate Says:

    when the USIL comes in can i meet her? lol

    USIL, as in “Un-sister-in-law?” Sure, if you’re into women in their forties.

  14. Stan Says:

    Can’t you just surprise him by learning to sing “That’s Amore”?

  15. daveT Says:

    damn, was hoping USIL was in her mid twenties… young italian-looking ladies are my kryptonite…