High Maintenance

Filed under: — Kate @ 3:43 pm EST

I don’t normally buy my coffee at Starbucks (I see them as a caffeination supply of last resort), but I couldn’t resist consulting The Oracle of Starbucks.

So I entered my usual order: a tall triple skinny sugar-free hazelnut latte. I must say, the results were a little bit spooky…

Behold the Oracle’s wisdom:

Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you’re bossy and arrogant. You’re constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people’s time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that’s why they’re plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

[via Blinq]

5 Responses to “High Maintenance”

  1. Stan Says:

    I take it you think it’s right. Don’t you think that’s kinda perposterous? I mean we’re not going to kill you. The hired ninjas will. >:o

  2. daveT Says:

    thats like believing your fortune in the fortune cookie…

    we’re out out stay with your wife… open up the case of find another lover then…

  3. Aaron Says:

    Talk about humbling:

    Personality type: Lame

    You’re a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you’re boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you’d like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren’t sure if you’re ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like “friggin’” and “oh, crumb!” Everyone who thinks America’s Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks Triple Grande Latte.

  4. Kate Says:

    Hey Aaron! At least no one is plotting to kill you. I’ve been looking over my shoulder for ninjas all morning!

  5. daveT Says:

    Behold the Oracle’s wisdom:

    Either you can’t type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a “nothing” the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you’re probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves.