Guidos or Vampires?

Filed under: — Kate @ 7:52 pm EST

It’s become an almost nightly event.

“Guidos or Vampires?” Edo asks me, his finger poised above the answering machine.

“Ummm…” I say, scrunching up my face. “Vampires.”

He presses the button and we wait for the message to play back.

“Prossimamente si svolgeranno le elezioni politiche. E’ un momento importante di partecipazione e di democrazia….”

“Damn! I thought for sure it was going to be the Red Cross this time!”

You see, our answering machine exists solely for the purpose of capturing prerecorded messages from either the American Red Cross, or people running for election back in Italy.

No shit—we’ve probably gotten 40 to 50 messages over the last two months. Freaking pasta lovers and plasma fiends…

4 Responses to “Guidos or Vampires?”

  1. daveT Says:

    i get all kinds of messages on mine in spanish. and the few that are in english are either a) looking for the former owners of the number to pay debts, b) looking for the former owners of the number to buy drugs, c) a mis-dialed call telling me my kid is on the green team for soccer that starts this sunday (i got married and/or had a kid when???) or d) telling me i won some contest and to call back for my trip to the islands.

  2. Stan Says:

    I think C is the funniest.

  3. Lushy Says:

    I used to have a huge problem because my number was one number different than the Disney Ice rick when I lived in Anaheim. My answering machine clearly said who I was, and I still had soccer moms leaving jersey and short orders and people woke me up (I was working until 1 AM at the time) to ask me what the hours were. I hate Disney Ice.

  4. Philadelphia Will Do Says:

    Blogicized: Call Me Al

    • Some people in Philadelphia apparently get calls from people running Italian elections and those seeking blood. This is why I don’t have a land line. [Starting A Landslide In My Ego] • I don’t know if Dann Cuellar’s daughter…