Cell Phone Conversation

Filed under: — Kate @ 6:57 am EST

Yo, are you on your way home?

No, I’m rolling a blunt here with my friend.

Oh, okay, so you’re still at the office—wait, what did you say?!

Tough guy voice: I’m rolling a blunt. You know, a doobie. (Aside: That’s the lingo, right?) We’re rolling blunts and knocking back some beers. And then I’m gonna snort some coke off a stripper’s ass.

Oh… so is that like a mini bachelor party before his girlfriend comes to town?

No. So what are you doing?

Oh me? Well I’m standing on the corner at 38th & Market trying to whore myself out, but I got no takers.

Bitch, you better get some action!

Well it’s too cold to show any skin, so it’s not going very well.

Well bitch, you know you better cut me in on 60% if you get any business.

Are you kidding?! Maybe if you were here to protect me. But when I’m working it alone with no pimp, I keeps ALL the money. You got that, BITCH?

7 Responses to “Cell Phone Conversation”

  1. Stan Says:


  2. daveT Says:

    was this a transvestite? i mean it sounds like it was 2 guys talking… but then showing skin, and pimps?

    maybe i don’t really want to know.

  3. Kate Says:

    Actually, that was just a conversation I had with Edo last week.

  4. Manchild Says:

    So this will appear on the “Overheard in Philly” blog at some point?

  5. Kate Says:

    Ha, well it could. Just after I yelled…

    But when I’m working it alone with no pimp, I keeps ALL the money. You got that, BITCH?

    …I realized there were three youngish college guys walking behind me, laughing.

  6. Kate Says:

    Damn. Now I know what I should have called this post: “Overheard on my Cell Phone.” I couldn’t come up with anything more creative than “Cell Phone Conversation.”

  7. daveT Says:

    well its damn funny if you did it on porpoise.

    i just mistook the tough guy voice part for someone wimpy prissy guy trying to sound tougher than he is. my bad.