Gee, That’s Super!

Filed under: — Kate @ 12:25 pm EST

You know, I thought it was kind of dumb when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their kid Apple, but this one really takes the cake: Nicholas Cage just had a kid and name him Kal-el. As in Superman. Who the hell does that to a kid? I wonder if they will just call him Clark.

Annals of Retarded Celebrity Baby Names: Superbaby Edition [Defamer]

Kind of reminds me of a client in an office where I used to work who was named T’Pring. Are you thinking to yourself “Wait… I know that name… wasn’t that Spock’s wife in the episode where we first learn about the whole Vulcan “mate or die” syndrome?” Well, if you were thinking that, you would be right.

8 Responses to “Gee, That’s Super!”

  1. Kamin Says:

    They should just name him “beat me up and take my lunch money”.

    I think celebrities think they MUST name their kid something bizarre… like Dave or Tim is too “un-edgy” and they constantly have to be SUPER-EDGY!!! Ugh. I wish Hollywood would implode.

  2. Stan Says:

    I can relate. He chose a name from a hobby of his. Maybe you guys missed the part where Illyana is Colossus’s little sister. And it’s not like he chose the codename. He just chose the real name. THe kid will grow up being known as Kal. Big deal. It’s like his real name was Kalvin. It can’t be any worse than Tipanga or Colon or any other name that has a phone prank involved. Anita, Amanda, Hugh, Mike, etc. It’s really not as bad as you guys are making it out to be. Maybe you’ve just fallen prey to sensationalism. Apple on the other hand, is retarded. AS kids we would hold our tongue and say “apple” and it comes out like a-hole. That’s sucks. And what if he’s a fruit? Yeah I know it’s a girl. Doesn’t matter. I got across my point. Kids make fun of EVERY name if they don’t like you. And sometimes even if they DO like you. Sorry Kamin.

  3. Kate Says:

    Stan, I really think “Illyana” is a bit different from “Kal-el.” It’s just spelled a little bit differently from Iliana, and no one would know it was from a comic book unless you told them. I think it’s great to include things like that in your kids’ names if you can, and you did it the perfect way.

    But people also need to remember that this is a person’s NAME. Something they will have their whole life (usually). They will be writing it on test papers and job applications. Kids’ names should be based on thought and consideration (which I believe Illy’s was), and not on a whim.

  4. Stan Says:

    All I’m saying is that it could be a ton worse, and I’d even wager that alot of people don’t know where it came from. Of course, now they will because of the news. Crap, I’m a comic fan, admittedly not of Superman, but I didn’t even know his real name until a couple of months ago. Nicholas Cage got his surname Cage from the comic character Luke Cage, Powerman. Just be happy he didn’t name his kid Powerman. Maybe I’m wrong. Who knows. Are you guys picking up what I’m putting down?

  5. Kamin Says:

    Apple Martin is a boy, isn’t he (she)???


  6. Kate Says:

    She’s a girl. And I never thought of this until you wrote “Apple Martin,” but they could call her “Apple Martini.”

  7. Kamin Says:

    Oh… girl. Oops. Better recall the crotch “apple” joke I emailed to Gweneth…

    Not to be a big perv… but once “Apple” is about 14 and she introduces herself as “Apple”, won’t most guys take a look at her… um… apples?! Forgive me, but I know how guys think. Any reference that vaguely applies to such regions instantly draws the attention slightly southward.

    Like… “Hi, I’m Melons!” A guy’s eyeballs suddenly weigh about 90 pounds. “Nice to meet you… I’m Juggs McKnockies”

    Ok, now I’ve just called myself out as a big weirdo.

  8. Holz Says:

    I heard Gwyneth is pregant again, and is hoping for a boy… will we see a Banana to go with that Apple?

    Regarding Kal-El, yeah, it’s out there, but I give him props for going for it. I’d love to name my kid after a comic book character, but not all of us can be lucky enough to find chicks like Krista.

    Ain’t any better than Madison. Who the hell made that name so popular?